Don’t worry, this isn’t an announcement of something new, but rather a journal of memories. I recently came across a few posts I wrote about my cancer diagnosis. I’ve enjoyed thirteen years of living since that day I heard, “You have cancer.” While I don’t dwell on the memories most days, there are still occasions when they come to mind.
So, why share?
First, I don’t want to forget. Not that I wish to dwell in hard memories, but there is a strength that comes from enduring.
Second, I love the perspective I gained during those times. Little things, little messes, are so easy to focus on and steal our joy. But those shrink in importance during tough times.
But mostly, if you are going through a hard time, I wanted to give you comfort. You are not alone. You will be stronger for having been through tough times. We can’t always control how things turn out, but as I read these words I wrote all those years ago, I am comforted. I hope you are as well.
Here are a few of the posts:
I still remember driving down the freeway with my daughter, niece, and preschool nephew in the car, but it’s amazing how many details have faded. I’d forgotten the kids were watching a Sesame Street movie and my nephew complained he couldn’t hear Big Bird. I’d forgotten my struggle to tell my husband the bad news.
So many details I’d set aside. As I read the posts, memories of that year came flooding back. Thankfully, not all the emotions but some of them resurfaced as well. The helplessness, the fear, the constant “what now?” as we got more bad news.
And this above post where I talked about dealing with changes and surprises from my cancer surgery reminds me now that I can face difficulties.
Then there is this one:
I will admit, that one was far more difficult to read. The emotions came flooding back. The helplessness, the fear, the long nights. Oof. Some scars definitely leave marks, do they not? But scars also teach us, and they remind us of the things we have lived through. Of our triumph. And, for me, of God’s grace.
So, if you are going through a tough time, remember you are not alone.
Much love and many hugs, my friends.
Jenn